It's a skill, not magic. Here's how to start.

Okay, so AI has its limits. But talking to people is still hard. How do you do it without it turning into a disaster? You can't control how other people react, but you can use a few strategies to make the conversation go better.

Step 1: Know What You Need

Before you talk, ask yourself: What do I need from this conversation?

  • Do you just need to vent and be heard?
  • Do you need advice?
  • Do you need them to do something?

Step 2: State Your Need Out Loud

This is a game-changer. It tells the other person exactly how to support you. Try starting with:

"Hey, I need to vent about something. I don't need you to fix it, I just really need you to listen."

"I'm struggling with a decision and I'd like to get your advice."

"I'm telling you this because I want you to understand what's been going on with me."

Step 3: Pick Your Time and Place

Don't drop a bombshell when your parent is walking in from a stressful day at work or your friend is in the middle of a crowd. Find a calm, private moment. Sometimes talking while doing something else, like driving, walking the dog, or shooting hoops, can make it feel less intense.

Step 4: Use the "I Feel" Formula

Instead of starting with an accusation ("You always..."), start with your own feeling. It's less likely to make the other person defensive.

Instead of: "You'll just get mad."

Try: "I feel scared to tell you this because I'm worried you'll be angry."

Instead of: "You don't understand."

Try: "I feel like my feelings are being dismissed when this is brushed off."

Step 5: Remember, It Doesn't Have to Be a Parent

If your parents aren't a safe option right now, who else is in your life? A school counselor, a coach, a trusted teacher, an aunt or uncle, or a friend's parent can be incredible sources of support. The goal is to connect with a human who has your back.